What’s So Great About Spaced, Anyway?

spaced
  Clockwise: Julia Deakin, Nick Frost, Mark Heap, Katy Carmichael, Simon Pegg, Jessica Hynes

I started watching Spaced again a while back, an episode a day as a small (and my only) respite during preparation for exams. This must have been the fourth viewing or so I since first stumbling across it two years ago, and I am yet to find it to be stale or worn out, or worse: to stop being funny at all.

That Spaced has succeeded in staying as relevant and funny as it was when it first aired is no easy feat. After all, any comedy is best when it is new and fresh, for that is when it is capable of generating the loudest laughs, the jokes delivered with lightning-zest, jabs as powerful as Muhammad Ali’s in his prime. But just as even the best sportsman eventually loses the energy and stamina that propelled them to the top, so too to do most comedies, losing that initial lustre that turned it into such a hit. In both diverse instances, it is an affliction of the curse of time.

Spaced is a tale of two Londoners, Tim Bisley (Simon Pegg) and Daisy Steiner (Jessica Hynes neé Stevenson), who barely know each other but conspire to pose as a couple in order to get a flat. As any good sitcom will teach you, it must contain a premise that is simultaneously ridiculous and believable enough to be a ripe source for jokes. In this instance, it’s maintaining the charade to their landlady whilst everyone else is quite aware of the situation… until it all spills into the open humorously in the series’ penultimate episode.

The second element in any great sitcom is in dynamism of the cast and the interactions between their characters. Tim and Daisy share their lodgings with Brian (Mark Heap), an artist who employs… “unusual” (to say the least)… methods of painting his pictures. There is the eternally sozzled landlady, Marsha (Julia Deakin) and her unseen daughter, Amber. There’s Tim’s best friend, Mike (Nick Frost), so army- and war-obsessed he once tried to invade Paris with a tank. Then there’s Daisy’s best friend, Twist (Katy Carmichael), reportedly in fashion (plot twist: she works at a Laundromat). And later on, there’s a dog named Colin (Ada the Dog). Leading the charge of this explosively unstable heap of idiosyncratic characters is Tim and Daisy. Together, this eclectic grouping is highly charged, full of erroneous misunderstandings and even mismatched, yet they are bound together by a muddled sense of deep love and fondness for one another. Ultimately, this bunch of endearing eccentrics serves as the show’s heart.

Spaced is not your average sitcom. Ditching the standard multi-camera setup, recording in front of an audience for employment of a laugh track, it opted instead for a single-camera more visual-driven stylisation falling more in line with cable programmes churned out today than a television comedy. By doing so, Spaced didn’t merely stand out from the rest but seized a rarely utilised opportunity of using visuals as part of the gag or even as the gag. Spaced isn’t just packed with pop culture references— more often than not, it actually pays homage to them and contrary to quickly becoming tired and unoriginal in the way most parodying induces, it never manages to feel once that Spaced is relying solely on these references as the punch line; instead, it is part of the joke itself. You don’t need to understand the homage to laugh at the joke but when you do, the quip becomes twice as funny. In a famous instance, Tim— an avid Star Wars fan— expresses his dissatisfaction with The Phantom Menace by getting rid of his Star Wars merchandise by building a pyre and setting them on fire (unintentional rhyme!), a scene set entirely in the vein of Darth Vader’s funeral in Return of the Jedi.

And these pop culture references aren’t entirely restricted to a particular genre. I counted moments that paid homage not only to Star Wars, The Matrix, The Shining and the Sixth Sense but also to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Say Anything…, The Royle Family and The Omen. I even spotted a Doctor Who gag in the episode Change— the entrance to Tim’s boss’ office is framed on top by a TARDIS sign.

Simon-Pegg-Spaced_l

Not to say that everyone working on the show was not important but a large part of Spaced’s success owes thanks to the tight working between writers-and-stars Simon Pegg and Jessica Hynes (neé Stevenson) and director Edgar Wright. The writing is sharp, crisp and times its jokes perfectly. Behind the camera, Edgar Wright’s visual aesthetic and fingerprints are plastered all over the series. His signature fast-moving whip pans and well-placed angles serve as a precursor to his work on the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy and Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Most directors in television are given little importance beyond getting the material filmed, forced to adhere to maintain a show’s established style. Here, Spaced depends a good deal on its director and it shows.

Spaced is comprised of a surprisingly short number of episodes— fourteen, to be exact, spread evenly over two series of seven. To understand the importance of how an order of episodes can impact the quality of a television show, one need only point out at the slow downhill slide of How I Met Your Mother, a show that (clearly!) started off as a Friends-esque sitcom before quickly growing into its own quirky beloved niche until the dragging of the titular meeting stretched on for too long (nine years) over twenty-odd episodes annually. If the last few years had a reduced number of episodes, combined with removing of unnecessary material serving as filler, perhaps the series’ finale wouldn’t have gone down as the show’s most divisive episode ever.

Spaced, on the other hand, operated as if it had always been destined for a brief albeit spectacular lifespan and managed to make every second, frame and joke count. In some ways, it felt like a very long Extended Edition of a movie.

Every now and then, a comedy (irrespective of medium) comes along that remains vibrant as the day it debuted. One such gem is the Charlie Chaplin classic, City Lights, one of the last silent films to be made that is still funny and moving as ever. For a more modern choice and in television, I would select Friends— it might not exactly be the best sitcom according to critics and Best Comedy-lists but it certainly boasts a far better universal appeal thanks to a timeless bravura mix of jokes, riotous characters and a cast that felt like a real family. Spaced aired at the end of the twentieth century in 1999 and 2001 and even fifteen years later, I can confidently say that Spaced deservedly belongs in the Club of Exclusive Exceptional. Perhaps even its own room named after it. It has wholly earned that prestige.

In the final episode of Spaced, a running theme is— and I quote— “They say the family of the twenty-first century is made up of friends, not relatives”. And you know what? This is one family I wouldn’t mind being a part of.

Must-Watch Animated Films: Part One

The word “animation” bears the unfortunate stigma of immediately and unfairly being associated solely with ‘kiddie fare’. Certainly, most such films are geared towards younger audiences but that isn’t always the case. Animation is simply another medium of film-making.

Now this is NOT a list of non-childish animated features. Nor is it a list of the best animated films ever made. These are simply the ones that I feel every person should watch at least once in their life.

Check back in over the next few weeks to see the later installments!

[Note: this list is in no particular order]

 

  • Coraline [2009]

coraline

This adaptation from Laika Studios is what happens when you cross Neil Gaiman’s brilliant novella with the delightful mind of Henry Selick. Coraline is Alice in Wonderland but with a darker twist— there’s even a talking cat. The visuals, especially those of the Other World, are riveting and the voice casting, particularly Teri Hatcher as the Mother and Dakota Fanning as Coraline, is pitch perfect. Ultimately, it might have more appeal for an older audience while children may find this a little too disturbing for their liking.

PS: this is one of the rare instances where overall, I prefer the film to the book. Don’t get me wrong, I love what Neil Gaiman wrote but the adaptation was a little better. Go check both out!

 

  • The Lion King [1994]

LionKing

For many people, The Lion King is a symbol of childhood. Objectively speaking, this isn’t the most original story: it is, for all purposes, a Disney take on Shakespeare’s Hamlet but with the standard tropes the company is familiar for: musical numbers, remorseless villains and— what would a Disney movie be without them?!— obligatory sidekicks (good and evil)!

Yet in this film’s case, the clichés— if you will— only serve to enhance the charm: Elton John’s songs are still memorable and possibly the best music written for it, Hans Zimmer’s score is phenomenal (and this was his only Oscar win to date, funnily enough), the casting is impeccable (Jeremy Irons as Scar is outstanding and the animation sublime! It also spawned the immortal motto of “Hakuna Matata”. It means “no worries”.

  • Spirited Away [2001]

SpiritedAway

You haven’t seen animation until you’ve watched a Hayao Miyazaki film.

Spirited Away might look for all intents and purposes like a Disney film— don’t let that fool you for even a second! This is a wonderfully mature tale populated with complex characters and animation so gorgeously detailed it is breathtaking. It’s a children’s tale for grownups and a rare delight. In a completely deserved win, it took home the Oscar for Best Animated Feature in 2001 and it is not hard to see why: Spirited Away easily puts nearly ninety-percent of Disney’s fifty-plus year old filmography to shame!

 

  • The Iron Giant [1999]

irongiant

Brad Bird made a mighty splash and a name for himself with The Incredibles, Ratatouille and Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol but in an ideal world, his directorial debut should have done that long before he moved to Pixar. The Iron Giant is a Cold War story depicting the friendship between a small boy, Hogarth, and the Iron Giant that fell from space and consequently, their struggle against a federal agent and the US Military. It’s a wonderfully warm, funny and exciting tale hinting at Brad Bird’s great prowess yet to come. The film also sports some surprising vocal talents, including Jennifer Aniston, Harry Connick, Jr., Christopher McDonald and… Vin Diesel as the titular Giant. Anyone wondering why Marvel wanted him to play a tree with a vocabulary consisting of “I am Groot” should watch this to understand why.

  • ParaNorman [2012]

paranorman

Laika’s second production was yet another brilliant tale with a mature angle to the entire proceedings. Think of ParaNorman as The Sixth Sense in a more humorous vein. Norman, the protagonist, can “see dead people” but they’re friendly and mean him no harm. The same cannot be said about society, deeming Norman to be a freak. ParaNorman is also the first animated film in which one of the characters is actually gay, a move that co-director Chris Butler says is connected explicitly with the message of the film[1], .

How To Write A Best-Selling Young Adult Novel in Ten Steps

[NOTE: This is actually a repost of an old post from my old blog, Holmes Hideout, which I wrote at the end of 2012- literally. Going back through it, I find it still contains some humourous value in it and felt it’d be a shame not to share it with a newer audience. It also sheds some startling light on the phenomenon of YA novels that was so massive in those years (not so much now except perhaps in film- the new trend is superhero movies/reboots/remakes/shared universe franchises. Nonetheless: enjoy]. 

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ShallWeBegin

If you follow my 10 steps, you will easily be able to write a young-adult novel catered to meet the requirements of readers in the 21st century: 

1) Create an uninteresting, meek female protagonist who’s very insecure about themselves and co-dependent, not to mention complete helpless damsels-in-distress 24/7. 

NOTE: exceptions CAN be made but nobody gives a damn because three-dimensional characters are alien to this genre! 

2) Create a male protagonist who seems to spend all his time at the gym because he’s built. He will fall in love with the female protagonist because that’s what is expected of the genre and because he’s clearly got no one better to fall in love with. In this genre, insecure boring females are the Queens!
 
3) Male protagonist should be perfect and flawless with- this is VERY IMPORTANT!- an endless amount of patience to have nothing better than to listen to the female protagonist whine constantly. Why is this important? Because that’s what your targeted demography (i.e. 13-50 year old women) wants. They are not there to read about a flawed male protagonist- that’s what boyfriends and husbands are for!
 
4) Make your male protagonist a supernatural being. Like a vampire. Or an angel. Or a werewolf. Bitches love supernatural beings. Even if said being is a 110 years old trapped in a teenager’s body. It is not considered as pedophilia.
 
5) Create ANOTHER male protagonist! This guy will most likely have been a friend of the female protagonist since the beginning of time and is usually (gasp!) secretly in love with her. He’s got to be a nice guy and a perfectly legitimate choice for a girl to fall in love with; yet in the end, he will get kicked in the nuts because he’s not bad-ass like the main male protagonist.
 
6) Now create a love triangle between the female protagonist and the two male protagonists- even though the reader ALREADY knows that the girl is going to choose the supernatural bad-ass perfectly muscular male protagonist. Because pointless love triangles with predictable outcomes are a MUST and completely unclichéd, trust me! No requirements necessary to make it interesting.
 
7) Spend the next 500 odd pages describing how perfect the male protagonist is. If you’re a little more creative, you can add in a little plot to make it seem “exciting”. NOT a must!
NOTE: keep a thesaurus with you at all times when writing scenes involving the male protagonist so that you never run out of adjectives to describe how perfect he is. 
 
8) Don’t stop at one book. Create a trilogy. Better than a trilogy, make it a quadrilogy (that’s four in a series). And your fourth book should be very big- because in case the books are adapted into films, the final book can be split into two films even though it’s highly unnecessary but will be done in “the name of the fans who are clamouring for more”. 
 
9) Give your books mysterious and obscure titles, preferably after times of the day, like ‘Morning‘, ‘Afternoon‘, ‘Evening‘ and ‘Night‘. The titles don’t have to make sense. 

10) Watch as the books become best-sellers and tarnish the good of literature as we know it, while the film adaptations win all the MTV Movie Awards each year. 
 
NOTE: if you can- by some miracle!- make your books appear to be “metaphors” for abstinence, then you’ll seem a little more credible as an author to the oblivious fans. The intelligent ones will see through the facade immediately.

Five Reasons Why Mary Jane Watson Is Amazing

Women don’t get a lot of love in comicbooks unless they have powers and dress up in a tight-fitting revealing costume. If they possess neither, their duties most often include the need to be rescued constantly or in a worst-case scenario end up dead to cause mental agony and pain to the hero (check up what happened to Green Lantern Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend to see what I mean).

Yet when done right, they succeed in being pivotal and important characters on their own terms. Hence, the women in the world of Spider-Man are just as vital as the titular hero. Ol’ Web Head has quite the list of ladies: Black Cat/Felicia Hardy, Betty Brant and Carlie Cooper, to name a few. But none have been more popular than Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson.

Comparatively, Mary Jane Watson has been in the spotlight more than Gwen Stacy, thanks to the prominence given to her in adaptations.

Sam Raimi’s trilogy always focused on MJ (do you mind if I call Mary Jane Watson “MJ”? It saves time typing) while Gwen Stacy, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, was more-or-less shoehorned in a minor capacity in Spider-Man 3 (2007).

Lately, though, Gwen Stacy has been enjoying an upsurge in popularity thanks to Emma Stone’s performances in the rebooted films. Not only did Stone imbue Gwen with some serious lovable charm and smarts but her active involvement in helping costumed boyfriend with pesky villains helped make her one of the films’ best components instead of functioning as an obligatory ‘damsel-in-distress’. Revolutionary, right?

Except Mary Jane had been doing the same for years in the comics.

There is a lot of love for Sam Raimi’s work over the reboot. I love those films, too. The first two, at any rate. But for the mere sake of nostalgia, I will not deny that the trilogy wasn’t without its faults and the biggest complaint I had was with the depiction of Mary Jane Watson. I do not blame Kirsten Dunst— after all, actors and actresses have to simply make the best with the scripts given to them. But I hated the way the character was portrayed. Not that it’s much better across other media— the Spider-Man PlayStation game, for instance, committed the same cardinal ‘damsel-in-distress’ sin. Instead of the cool, fun girl from the comics, we got a soap-operatic, whiny excuse of a MJ. Such a travesty! What many people may not realise is in the source material, MJ was always a downright bad-ass, again and again and again and Peter has admitted many times that she was one of the strongest women he knew. From the time she was with Peter, she was a massively important centre in the comics. Which is why I want to tear my hair over after in The Superior Spider-Man #31 last month, she made it clear that she was done with Peter (then again, nothing is permanent in comics, so fingers crossed). Thanks a lot for One More Day, Marvel, that’s the outcome of such a stupid editorial decision. Dweebs.

So without further ado, let me present five instances throughout the history of Spider-Man, in no particular order, in which Mary Jane Watson demonstrated that she was completely amazing and at times, a real bad ass.

Image

1)     The time she attacked a Spider-Slayer in Pittsburgh with a baseball bat to save Peter

Events in The Amazing Spider-Man issues #290-292 turned out to be game-changers for Spider-Man lore to come. At the end of #290, Peter proposed to MJ (the second time he’d done so) only to be turned down again. In the next two issues, MJ leaves for Pittsburgh to take care of family matters but later calls Peter and asks him to come and help her. Peter flies out to join her, unaware that Alistair Smythe is tracking him with his Spider-Slayer. Long story short: Spider-Man and Smythe engage in battle which Smythe nearly won if MJ hadn’t grabbed a baseball bat from a nearby kid and hit the Spider-Slayer!

Sounds like a dumb move, right? Except it was all a ploy to buy Peter the few crucial seconds he needed to recover… although his response to seeing Smythe almost kill MJ was to tear the Spider-Slayer to pieces and threaten Smythe with the same treatment if he tried to harm anyone again. Seriously— that bit of courage requires serious cojones to pull off without being paralysed with fear.

2)     The time Mary Jane turned her horrible father in to law enforcement to bail her sister out

While Spider-Slayer in Pittsburgh took central attention in #291-292, the reason MJ was in that town was a family conflict. Her father, Phillip, had convinced MJ’s sister, Gayle, to steal a rare manuscript for him to sell on the black market. Gayle got caught and Phillip wanted MJ to find the paper and bring to him. She ended up aiding her father, much to Peter’s uneasiness despite promising to support her decision no matter what. After the battle, MJ hands in the script, only for her father to get arrested for the crime. The move took even Peter by surprise. In the end, Gayle was released and reunited with her children and estranged sister. The real happy ending, though, is all this made MJ change her mind about Peter’s proposal and she agreed to marry him. And the rest, as they say, is history.

3)     Escaping the devious clutches of her obsessed landlord and admirer entirely through her own efforts and saving Spider-Man from death… again!

David Michelinie’s and Todd McFarlane’s run on the series as writer and artist respectively yielded two beautiful outcomes: the introduction of fan-favourite anti-hero/villain Venom and the dark disturbing storyline in which Mary Jane is kidnapped by her obsessive admirer and landlord, Jonathan Caesar. The event is notable for being downright unsettling in that the antagonist succeeded in hitting Peter where it hurt most and he wasn’t even a major villain! Pushed to the brink of despair, Spider-Man resorts to beating up every criminal he comes across in New York in his frantic need for information. Caesar hires two criminals, Styx and Stone, to kill him and by #309, it all boils down to a hair-raising climax in which Spider-Man is nearly killed in Central Park and saved at the last second by none other than MJ.

Wait, but wasn’t she imprisoned until then?

Certainly. Until the sight of Styx (the guy can kill anything just by touching it!) prompts her into action. MJ initially tries to dispatch Caesar by applying a lamp socket to a puddle of water he is standing in. When that doesn’t work, she simply smashes the lamp in his face… and succeeds in electrocuting the goons instead. MJ immediately tracks her husband down and shoots Styx as he’s about to destroy Peter.

Bottom line: in the direst circumstances, MJ triumphantly overcame them and not only prevailed but saved Peter as well— all without powers, too. Damsel in distress? Pah! More like Heroine of the Hour!

4)     Evading capture by the Green Goblin during the events of ‘Goblin Nation’

MJGoblinNation

In the final story arc of The Superior Spider-Man, Norman Osborn had emerged from the shadows he’d been hiding in all the time and unleashed his army on New York. Part of his plan to destroy Spider-Man (and Otto Octavius, consequently) was to kidnap the people the webslinger cared about. One such target included Mary Jane.

Big mistake. When the Goblin’s minions (literally kids in Goblin outfits) crashed her apartment, MJ didn’t sit around screaming. Nope! She got out Peter’s old webshooters and webbed those mini-Goblins to the wall and with her boyfriend, collected Aunt May and Jameson Sr and took them to safety! The moment she deals with the little Goblins is simply spectacular! No chance the next screen incarnation of Mary Jane would do something like this, is there? Also, there’s a possibility that Green Goblin realised he may have bitten off more than he could chew when concerning Ms Watson.

5)     Everything about One More Day

ImageWriting about this actually hurts because I was forced to read One More Day to better acquaint myself with the events. Reading it made me physically nauseous. The story essentially wiped out Peter’s and MJ’s marriage in a few pages with such ease and little effort that it is nothing more than the WORST possible way to indirectly reboot a series, retcon history and function as a deus ex machina! I abhor book burnings of any sort, but I wouldn’t hesitate throwing this to such a pile!

So why does this make MJ such a strong person? Simple. She agreed to go through with the whole thing.

Despite how overall crappy this is, the moments before which Memphisto (Marvel’s version of the Devil) realigns time end up being some of the most gut-punching scenes drawn and written. As a Spider-Man fan, reading those sections felt as if a part of me did die. It honestly hurt and it is little wonder that the Spider-Man community was pissed off. Ultimately, through MJ’s visibly difficult yet selfless decision, she enabled the world to forget Spider-Man’s identity and prevent Aunt May from ever getting shot. But the price paid was simply too much and even though it has been seven years gone, the injustice and the pain of it all still rankles.

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And there you have it! Do you know of any other moments that made Mary Jane Watson memorable? If so, leave them in the comments below!

How To Recognise a Disney Villain

Note: this was originally supposed to be The Snarky Quill’s first post but somehow, it kept getting pushed back until now. Don’t ask me why. It just did.

Disney is a word synonymous with many people’s childhoods in different parts of the world largely in part to the revolution of VCR, VCD and DVD. While Disney had been around as far back as 1938, it can be argued that the Mouse House company regained both its footing and dominance in the very animation industry it had helped revolutionise with a Second Renaissance in the final decade of the twentieth century. The creative spark burst into flame with The Little Mermaid and died around with Tarzan. That’s not to say it’s completely dead— it has enjoyed yet another resurgence that triumphed in 2013 with the rabid success of Frozen, culminating a total gross of over a billion dollars and a recent win for Best Animated Feature at the 86th Academy Awards.

A film isn’t different from a meal. Both require various ingredients to be skillfully and artfully brought together in a concoction that would be unimaginable without the contributions. Disney’s animated features tend to follow a standard recipe that is changed and modified to a certain degree to suit the film without too much deviation to make it unrecognisable. What ingredients, I hear you ask from across the screens that separate us? Oh, it’s easy: catchy musical numbers, a good-looking (white) hero and heroine, the mandatory sidekick usually voiced by a famous person and… the villain.

If you were to put these bad people on a spectrum… you might find that they tend to share some commonalities that make them a classic Disney villain.

1.      Red/Black/Purple coloured attires

The dress code in invitations sent to Disney antagonists: “The theme is either black, red or purple.”

Maybe it’s part of some unspoken code in The Villain’s Bible or How To Be Evil 101 (a popular favourite with the bad guys of today) but the Colour Triad of Black, Red and Purple— black, namely— has remained an inexplicable standard of popular fashion choice for Disney villains. Don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself.

Costumes designed by Ralph Lauren
Costumes designed by Ralph Lauren

I get it: with most of the running time devoted to song-and-dance sequences, only a limited amount of screen time is given over to the evil doers. Clothes symbolizing characters’ natures aren’t novel and the use has been around for centuries. Disney villains, on the other hand, can be classified as either: (a) black- malevolent and brooding (b) red- flamboyant (c) purple- in pursuit of getting grandiosely drunk with power and being the alpha of whatever. If you scrutinise each villain’s nature with their choice of fashion, you’d start to notice the parallels. The rule, of course, doesn’t always apply. But I bet you’d be hard-pressed to find a Disney villain in other colours which the heroes haven’t taken.

2. Cool sidekicks

Disney_evil_sidekicks

Everyone in a Disney film needs a sidekick to stop us from waking up to realise how empty the stories can be. Their primary purpose is comic relief and yet they tend to be the best marketable merchandising characters for children. When they side with the heroes, they. When they side with the villains, they provide moral support, encouragement, humour and sing catchy songs… and give the villain someone to conspire with in secrecy. Though these sidekicks are meant to be one-note (as is the fate of most Disney characters), some tend to display more depth to them than would be expected. The most prominent example actually takes place in a direct-to-video sequel (sadly enough) in which Jafar’s parrot, Iago, attempts with the greatest difficulty to prove his loyalty to Aladdin— a task not made any easier when Jafar returns in… The Return of Jafar.

"Be honest... I know you love me. Yes, you love me, don't you?"
“I know you love me. Yes, you do!”

3.  The traits of smooth and cool villainy

After the sidekick, you know who the coolest character is? If you guessed “the villain”, you earn a prize of self-congratulations and the imagining of me giving you a proud pat on the back.

Pardon the cliché: but every story does need a great bad guy. The eccentric flamboyant ones are all the more charming and glib to the audience it is performing before (I can’t speak for the others but I loved the villains and wasn’t the least frightened of them). Smooth-talking antagonists laced with evil are still trending even today— one look at the popularity of Loki in The Avengers or Moriarty in BBC’s modern interpretation Sherlock is all it takes to confirm this. The guys admire their tenacity and debonair Machiavellianism and girls simply go crazy for them. They are ultimately the sort of people you’d invite to a party if only for the sole reason that they capture your attention more than the oft-vanilla yet handsome hero. I say the hero is good-looking in comparison as the Disney antagonists are slightly off-degree in the looks department.

"I make evil look gooood!"
“I make evil look gooood!”

And yet, despite all that…

4. Disney villains are single

disney-hades-20
“Why will you not get with this?!”

Ain’t no rest for the wicked and no time for courtships! When was the last time a Disney villain started off the story a) married or at least b) in a relationship? Certainly, all the world domination/evil plans getting in the way of libido being put to good use but it’s a crafty lesson in teaching children that evil never gets laid— which promptly confuses hormone-raging teenagers in later years to question why the girl of their dreams is perpetually interested only in the aloof bad boy archetype instead of a nice guy like him.